Not What I thought - Blog Post
I have often said this statement. It was not what I thought it would be, or well that didn’t go as planned. These words resound true in my life. So often my plans do not go the way I wanted them to. Many times, how I thought something would turn out it just doesn’t. Sometimes the results are better than I imagined, other times they are not.
That is how God’s Enough – Women's Ministry has been. Not at all what I thought. That is overwhelming, and frightening, and yet somehow beautiful. Overwhelming because I am human and my thinking is limited. Frightening because one feels like a failure when things don’t go as planned. So why is it beautiful? I have always said that God’s Enough – Women's Ministry will be God’s. I have always told God I don’t want to be outside of His will and that this Ministry isn’t mine. God can give us ideas, and He can help us plan for the future and yet the what happens in the end when we are surrendered to Him, nothing looks like we thought it would and yet somehow it is better. This is why Isaiah 55:8-9 is so profound in my life and in this ministry.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
As Megan shared last week she is stepping away from God’s Enough – Women's Ministry. I am of course sad. Though Megan and I have only worked together for the last year we have become close and have learned a lot from each other. I am also incredibly excited for Megan. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to see Megan and grow and watch her step out in obedience to God. Even though that obedience is taking her away from this ministry. Megan’s testimony and life of ministry are not over, and neither is God’s Enough – Women's Ministry.
Over the last few months, I was struggling with God over topics to speak about and was wrestling with them in my flesh. I would think things like, “but God no one wants to hear about that,” or “people will stop listening if I talk about that,” or “that isn’t what I wanted to talk about today.” In that struggle one day I felt that uncomfortable tug, that Megan mentioned, of the Holy Spirit and the statement was, “quite...” I pulled my thoughts to a stop quickly and listened closely, “you said that God’s Enough is God’s not yours, so if you are not willing to obey Him, then it has become yours and you need to quite.”
Of course, it was with dread that I began to pray. Did God want me to end God’s Enough? Was I disobeying Him? Or was it my stubbornness to not speak about the hard topics? Through prayer I came to the decision that God wanted me to tackle the hard-subjects head on and in obedience. However, this means a lot of hard studying and a larger investment. “How can I do this?” I asked God. Though the topics are hard, I do want to obey, no matter the cost. My problem was, a full-time job, two kids, a husband, volunteer work at church, and more desires that I cannot even began to accomplish. I know that I could not do more. Then suddenly I found my life changing.
Within a week of that revelation from God, I had been informed that my position at work was being dissolved. Though somewhat shaken I felt at peace about this. Do I need to work? The immediate answer is yes. However, what that work is and what that looks like can change.
Also, God began to shift my view of what God’s Enough should look like. As these things began to form in my mind, I got a text from Megan asking if we could discuss the future of God’s Enough. I had no idea what she had on her mind when I walked into that meeting, but as she told me that she would be stepping out of God’s Enough –Women’s Ministry I felt peace flow over me.
In that moment, I didn’t have the answers. In that moment, I was shocked. In that moment I was sad. However, in that moment I knew that all things were from God and working in accordance with His will, not mine.
God’s Enough is all about the fact that we, you, me, Megan, all of us are not enough, but God is and he has the answers for our future and for the future of His ministry.
So, what is the future for God’s Enough? I am not positive. Are things changing? Yes, but not completely. As I have prayed over this, spoken to my husband and read through the Bible I realized I cannot do it all. I will have to learn to give some things up in order to do some new things. So here is what is coming in January:
Blogs: I will continue to Blog, however only twice per month
Podcasts: I will also continue to Podcast but also only twice a month, I will alternate the weeks with the blogs.
Bible Studies on Facebook Live: Starting in January I will be doing a weekly 30 Minute Bible Study on Facebook live: These will be studies of the books of the Bible starting with James. I will be posting an announcement later this month for the date this will launch.
Mentoring: I will be offering a mentorship program. Who will I mentor? Young Wives, Moms, and Women who struggle with Bondage. I will have more information coming in January about this mentorship program and what it will look like.
Are things changing? Yes! Am I terrified? Absolutely! Do I have it all together? Absolutely not! Does God? Yes, that is the one thing I can say with confidence. This is God’s Enough – Women's Ministry, not My-Enough Women’s Ministry.
Remember, God is Enough When We Are Not.
I hope you will continue on this journey with me.
My Love To You All and Many Blessings,